An IEP

Had my oldest (16) iep today she is very smart and gifted. They did not really find a specific learning disability which is what she has always qualified for under english but she has learned how to adapt to this so it came out high this time for the first time since 6th grade she matches her IQ and other learning with ability. This was great I was glad we had pushed the Asperger testing last year as that is now what they qualified her for( well ASD) since her grades are not showing the same results as the tests. Her anxiety and depression has kicked into high gear from her aspergers and her disability that she normally has is still there a bit. Her written expression was the only thing on age level. The rest are clear into 21 years plus but most into her 30's. I wish I could help her get past her issues and tap that potential but alas you cant push to much or they stress. However she gets more even every year so maybe one day she will be able to tap into all that brain power and use it to the max :)
I guess the point of this blurb is I am glad she is getting better on the test but I currently feel guilty that I had not a clue that she had aspergers. I wonder if I had pushed and got her help earlier if we could have limited the impact it is having on her schooling and emotional life.
 Am I the only one who feels this way? I knew she was gifted from the age of like 3 but also knew at about 2nd grade that something was not clicking for her. I guess its always the hardest with the oldest they tend to be the guinea pig so to speak.

A bad day

Well its already been one of those days. Sigh! My baby puked first thing this morning. Then My son did not want to go to school so my oldest had to drag him kicking and screaming into school the looks from the other parents where great. The teacher promptly sent him to the principals office who then sent him with the counselor. Then baby puked again all over herself and the car seat. Then the stupid van driver window would not go up so I got to drive 30 minutes home with the window down on the freeway. What a nice hair doo. Then had to get baby cleaned up my back is killing me.

It was my youngest birthday last week she is now 3 WOW where does time go? I went to another doctor and he prescribed me Methylprosinone pack it seems to be helping some but he still did not want me to sit. I talked to him about my baby as he is a long time friend of the family. He said I have to decide how much intervention I want but to give Tianna the best chance for survival she should be born in a hospital. If I just want comfort care I can go ahead and home birth (he does think I am nuts to birth at home but he also knows its a thing he called it like a religion :)) I posted in my holoprosencephaly group trying to figure out what others have done. I believe he is probably right I just dont know how I am going to convince myself to do it. So many things I need I cant get at a hospital I dont want to end up with so many complications because doctors only show up the last 10 minutes. I so need my water I just dont know how to get around it. Well at least I have a bit of time to try to figure something out.

Pondering Tianna's Condition and a house of kids on Spectrum

Well Tianna still seems to be doing well she is a very strong kicker. She also has been getting hickups lately I wonder what she thinks about when she gets them. I wonder if they scare her. I wonder if because she is special God lets her see inside the womb and out. I wish she would just come get in my brain and let me know what choices I should make for her. I have 6 weeks till my next ultra sound and I wonder daily if they will find something else wrong with her or if she will even live that long. Wondering so many things daily can give you heart burn lol well its probably pregnancy but still. I have wondered after reading many posts in HoPE for families why some with Tiannas condition live even though they seem worse then she is. I decided its like wondering why some infants die of SIDS and some dont. There is just not a rhyme or reason for it.
As for my back it is a bit better but only if I dont do things I should be doing. Bending is not so good and sitting for long periods like longer then 10 min makes it ache something fierce. I worry that I will make it worse if I am not careful. However I still get up and move about the house but ohh what a pain it is to not pick things up. With 5 kids on the spectrum my house is a disaster they just are not great at cleaning up after themselves. Even if they do "clean" it is still not really clean at least it is better. I really want to mop the kitchen and organize My sons toys that have been scattered all over the living room for weeks. However I dont think that will happen anytime soon.

Adventures of JR prom and Aspergers

So after spending the last two days chasing around to get the final touches for my oldest prom outfit. I have decided I need to plan ahead for future events like this. I totally forgot since I was in high school all that is involved. I did not remember that she would need a boutonniere till the last minute so thanks to youtube I had a crash course in boutonniere making lol. It was interesting to say the least and wore me out with the prep for easter as well. I dont think it looked to bad for my first ever.

I did learn that children on the spectrum even Aspergirls just have some time management issues that they probably will not outgrow very easily and you should never assume. I mistakingly assumed she had actually tried on the dress to see if it fit so bless her aunt who was already doing her hair for fixing her dress to. She did have alot of fun at least so all the rush was worth it. 

Another appointment Some insights into my children on the spectrum

I went to my other midwives yesterday it was a good visit. If anyone wants to give homebirth a go or just some excellent prenatal care or birthing classes. I recommend them http://birthingyourway.com/ They have been a great support during this difficult time. I like my other midwives as well they deliver in the hospital they are athttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Central-Utah-Clinic-Womens-Center/131126283606333 Both have listened to my concerns and help me realize this is a process and sorry the vast majority of men are not really going to get what you might be going through. So male doctors seem kinda cold during this experience.
I have gotten the keepsake boxes for almost all my children just missing the oldest and a blanket for each of them but ryan his favorite color is red so its a bit more challenging to find a soft blanket in red 
I did talk to the counselor at school today I filled out forms and she asked how much the kids knew. I went over each child and how I thought they were doing then she said something about 4 files on her way out and I realized I had not discussed if she could see my only child without an IEP. My poor Neuro typical child she so gets lost in the day with all the melt downs and tantrums I think she might be in need of a little more attention. I then hunted her down and mentioned that I had a NT child as my third she was slightly surprised as I usually dont mention her mostly because we are always dealing with the others who have IEP's. She had me fill out a form for her to see her I asked her to also see how she is dealing with being in a sibling group with all the rest on the spectrum. I love my Beth she has always been so easy even as a baby she was the only one that slept through the night. She nursed right away and is usually very pleasant. Not that she did not have some moments and cry but usually just cause she needed something ie a diaper change, burp or feeding. I just thought God had given me an super easy child as my older two could be challenging as infants. LOL My husband and I have now come to the conclusion she is probably how most babies are and should have realized our others had some struggles a bit sooner. I used to describe my others as grumpy or moody nothing seemed to appease them easily. I wonder sometimes if some of these behavior issues could not be caught sooner just from observing babies.

Another on the Spectrum And Driving

Well I recently came from another IEP meeting where another of my girls is being helped for Autism and ADD after much testing and a Psychologist evaluation. I think I might just melt down! lol, works for them I should be allowed once a year right? Well that gives me 4 confirmed children on the spectrum out of 6. Well I guess I should be grateful that 3/4 of them are aspies. I dont know if it really makes a ton of difference as they all melt down and the latest child also has sensory disorders so you never know what is going to set her off. I however am fairly certain my youngest is also an aspie but she flaps and repeats which my others have not they do call it an puzzle for a reason :)

My oldest Aspie has been having alot of anxiety and depression lately she tries the hardest to fit in with her peers then seems to come home and shut down. School is getting to be alot for her to keep up with halfway through 11th grade. I hope she can keep it together till high school graduation but the emotional toll is what I worry about. She also has got a learners permit and is driving AHHHHH! lol just kidding she is actually pretty good.

My second also an Aspie struggles with OCD behaviors and anxiety. We have been using a stress ball and this seems to have limited her finger chewing. She has also adjusted to life as a 7th grader to some degree so she is less anxious.  She also comes home and is very tired just needs to unwind.

My third is neuro typical and seems to do well she does struggle being in a family full of Autism and trying to keep her siblings focused at times.

My fourth is the newly diagnosed Aspie mentioned above school is a huge challenge for her more then the others as she is more distracted. She has been in Dual immersion and struggling to keep up with the double homework I am not sure how long she can keep it up. She is very good at spanish and actually struggles with english so I am unsure what the best move will be for her.

Ahh My fifth a son he has adjusted well to kindergarten however his latest is to tell me he is too tired to go to school. He got an ear infection and the flu and just does not seem to have bounce back very well its been 3 weeks so I am waiting to see they say flu can linger for 6 weeks. I actually had to carry him into school today and I have not had that ever. He discovered a lego book at the orthodontist office the other day and had to have one now he cant wait to get home and look it over again and again.

Last but not least is my flapper she has a huge vocabulary and speaks well like my oldest did. However when she gets upset she flaps her hands and can not talk to you its like her brain is misfiring.  She also at times like when she wants something she repeats it over and over and over like 4 times. Even if you acknowledge that you heard her she cant stop.

Well such is the challenge of my husbands and my life. I love my kids and try daily to met their various needs I just hope that with divine help we can help them succeed to the best of their abilities.

Kindergarten issues with Autism

Well my son is adjusting better but has had to be switched to a different schedule then another child due to personality issues. He is having good success in this split school model where he spends first half of the day in Sped and second half in half day kindergarten. He loves math and art along with his teachers. We still can not get him to potty train but have not had a stinky accident in 4 weeks yeah!!! His faithful sister goes every day to take him to the bathroom and make him change his pants if he is to wet bless her caring soul.

The challenges of starting kindergarten with Autism

Well big surprise school started off crazy. My son was registered for all day kindergarten as I decided I did not want to have to travel to and from the school so much. I also did not want him to be half day and try to squeeze all his ot, social, and other sped services. He already struggles to learn how will he keep up if he misses half the stuff. Well big surprise he did not do so well going all day in the regular classroom so we decided to try him half day kindergarten and half day self contained where he can get all his sped services. This seems to be working for him as he melts down by lunch other then he bit a kid the other day not a real bite just a nibble really lol. When I asked him why he said he was looking at me and blocking the slide. Sigh! do kids just have this homing beacon for kids that are different and pick on them? I volunteered to drive for the senses field trip for my sons class. It was fun the teacher only assigned me my son and another sped boy he is a lot like my son she was worried to do so but I told her I was used to them so it would work fine.

LOL I always wished my son had a twin as then he would have a friend I am not so sure now they were fun to watch and played well till they did not want to do the same thing. Then you have a problem as one goes one way and one goes the other they do not listen well so if one wanders off you cant leave the other as they are not like other kids you never know what they are going to do. So you have to get the one and chase the other and quickly!

It reminded me of when my third daughter was 3 and my second was 5 she would just wander away with whatever had her attention. so I would have to uproot the 3 year old to chase the 5 year old and try to carry the baby. It was quite the challenge many mothers do not understand why I do not take my kids places much well there are several reasons: I have back issues, they tend to melt down, they don't listen well so it makes it difficult to divide yourself to get in each child's face to make sure they understood you.

Well back to kindergarten, my son is really good at math big surprise. However you have to read everything to him. He struggles to stay on the same task for very long. He works better if he has a fidget and a reward that is tangible he does not seem to get implied rewards. He can not handle the noise of the lunchroom. For fidgets he likes those party size playdough and those little balls with spaghetti strips coming off in center like these http://www.orientaltrading.com/halloween-porcupine-balls-a2-25_3355.fltr?prodCatId=551312 my oldest likes a good old stress ball or a worm like this http://www.orientaltrading.com/magic-worms-a2-16_1212.fltr I like these cause none of them are to expensive to replace if lost or ruined :)

A Day in the Atypical boys life

Well I thought I would share a typical day in my 5 year old sons life:

Well my son stays up late like most boys on the spectrum he does not sleep well this has been hard on the hubby and I but mostly me as my husband could sleep through a tornado!

So this said he is generally up by 10-11am, now I know I should wake him earlier we have tried that for a couple weeks straight but all that happens is I get even less sleep as he still stays up late.

He generally does not like to eat first thing but he does like to turn on the tv and watch rescue bots on netflix. I usually just bring him a bowl of dry cereal and he will eat on it then if he is in the mood he will come get milk. After one episode I have him go change his pull up and get dressed. He then finishes eating rarely will he just sit and eat he is constantly getting up. Then he watches another episode well he really does not watch it all he by now is awake enough to play with his cars with the movie running in the background.

If I do not keep my eye on him and have to do something I will walk in to find a box of cereal or crackers scattered on the floor and him mashing it with his cars his favorite activity since he was 18 months. I have tried everything short of buying locking cupboards to keep him out of the cereal it just was not worth it when I found him climbing over the counter and stretching to reach the top of the fridge just to get the cereal down. I have decided now that I am more familiar with autistic behaviors this is probably one of his stims he finds comfort in it. So now I deliberately leave a smaller portion of cereal around so maybe he wont use a whole box.

I have learned if nothing else from being the mom to children on the spectrum you have to pick your battles when possible. If I spend all the time trying to get them to conform to the same expectations for neuro typical children I would have a whole day and night of meltdowns and I am sorry but my sanity is important too. So I do expect certain things from my children mainly the really yucky things are unacceptable and sure to set me off lol like playing with your poop YUCK! Luckily I have not had much problem in this department till I got the youngest girl she does not like poopy diapers so she will play in them if you dont change them right away UGH!

Well back to the boy he as been pretty good in this department and thank goodness finally got trained to at least poop in the toilet. It has been two months since I had to change his poopy pants YEAH!!! He is still working on the urinating in toilet I really feel he just can not tell when he as to pee.

So after he plays with cars he generally wants to play in the sand box with cars even more so out he goes, usually with baby sister in tow, it kinda sucks in winter as I have no place to let him go play while I do some cleaning. I go check on him tons as it does not take him long to get into something I usually will go fold some laundry outside or sit on the deck and read. Usually after an hour or so he wants a drink or something and gets distracted with something inside. I usually have him do ABC Mouse while I make him some lunch and less he wants to help me cook it.

Then he usually turns on another movie like bob the builder and plays with cars again I try to get him to do a puzzle or something new sometimes he will sometimes he wont depends on his mood. We usually end up back outside I try to get him to notice something new in nature daily trying to get him interested in his surroundings not just those cars.

I usually go get the girls about this time and then my life gets to crazy to do much with him and he will usually watch a movie while I try to get the girls to do their chores and homework while I start dinner.

The kids usually play a game together including the boy or watch a movie then they get ready for bed have a story and go to bed except for the boy. He generally is up playing the only way we can get him to go to sleep is to hold him while we watch a movie and it has to be something boring. You can read to him and put him to bed and guarantee he is up playing with cars or doing whatever. I have put him to bed thought he was out go to bed myself only to be awakened by him getting into the fridge. Generally he is up till around 2am when you can finally bore him to death with music to get him to sleep.