Adventures of JR prom and Aspergers

So after spending the last two days chasing around to get the final touches for my oldest prom outfit. I have decided I need to plan ahead for future events like this. I totally forgot since I was in high school all that is involved. I did not remember that she would need a boutonniere till the last minute so thanks to youtube I had a crash course in boutonniere making lol. It was interesting to say the least and wore me out with the prep for easter as well. I dont think it looked to bad for my first ever.

I did learn that children on the spectrum even Aspergirls just have some time management issues that they probably will not outgrow very easily and you should never assume. I mistakingly assumed she had actually tried on the dress to see if it fit so bless her aunt who was already doing her hair for fixing her dress to. She did have alot of fun at least so all the rush was worth it. 

Another appointment Some insights into my children on the spectrum

I went to my other midwives yesterday it was a good visit. If anyone wants to give homebirth a go or just some excellent prenatal care or birthing classes. I recommend them http://birthingyourway.com/ They have been a great support during this difficult time. I like my other midwives as well they deliver in the hospital they are athttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Central-Utah-Clinic-Womens-Center/131126283606333 Both have listened to my concerns and help me realize this is a process and sorry the vast majority of men are not really going to get what you might be going through. So male doctors seem kinda cold during this experience.
I have gotten the keepsake boxes for almost all my children just missing the oldest and a blanket for each of them but ryan his favorite color is red so its a bit more challenging to find a soft blanket in red 
I did talk to the counselor at school today I filled out forms and she asked how much the kids knew. I went over each child and how I thought they were doing then she said something about 4 files on her way out and I realized I had not discussed if she could see my only child without an IEP. My poor Neuro typical child she so gets lost in the day with all the melt downs and tantrums I think she might be in need of a little more attention. I then hunted her down and mentioned that I had a NT child as my third she was slightly surprised as I usually dont mention her mostly because we are always dealing with the others who have IEP's. She had me fill out a form for her to see her I asked her to also see how she is dealing with being in a sibling group with all the rest on the spectrum. I love my Beth she has always been so easy even as a baby she was the only one that slept through the night. She nursed right away and is usually very pleasant. Not that she did not have some moments and cry but usually just cause she needed something ie a diaper change, burp or feeding. I just thought God had given me an super easy child as my older two could be challenging as infants. LOL My husband and I have now come to the conclusion she is probably how most babies are and should have realized our others had some struggles a bit sooner. I used to describe my others as grumpy or moody nothing seemed to appease them easily. I wonder sometimes if some of these behavior issues could not be caught sooner just from observing babies.

Aspergirls

Well shortly after my sons testing the special ed teacher for my second daughter approached me she is 12 and asked if I had her behavior tested. I said for what exactly as she had been tested and they told me the same thing they have told me since she was 5 years old SHE IS FINE! Your just worried because she is normal and your oldest is gifted. Sign! I should have been more forceful I knew from a young age she had some problems but hey live and learn.

Well the special ed lady says well she does not make eye contact I said so she has always been that way that is just her. She gave me this look like I should know better which really I should as I do work with special needs kids but they are really profound so a mild case like my daughter is harder to spot. Then she says well when I try to get her to discuss what problems she is having with math she seems to ignore me for a couple minutes then she might respond or she might not. I said well yeah she has always done that she just takes a bit to gather her thoughts. She asked if I would be ok if they tested her for behavior issues I said fine. So she sends me to go get the screenings she wants to try and WOW big surprise she has me pick up ASQ and GARS and a couple others. I had never filled either of these questionnaires out before. As I am filling them out I realize they are for Autism or Atypical behaviors and OMG!

My second daughter had not smiled before like age 5 much and even then usually her expressions do not match the situation. If I could have used one word to describe my daughter 2 it would be grumpy even from a super young age. She had and still does have weird OCD things she at the age of 2 had played with her belly button so much she could pull it off her stomach. She then moved to biting she was always biting her sister and nothing seemed to help stop her. She sucked her clothes till they were misshapen and sucked her hair. She at the age of about 6 became obsessed with hugs she constantly wanted to hug which she never had really wanted before and frequently shoved people away when they wanted one. It reached the point where I had to limit her to 2 hugs per person per day and only if she asked for one, if someone else instigated it that did not count. Then she moved to chewing her fingernails which was ok till about 11 years old when she chewed the whole nail off down to the cuticle it was bad surprised it did not bleed.

I realized as I filled these out that there was a high probability that I now had another child on the spectrum. I also realized my oldest daughter fit alot of the asperger signs I was shocked she is 15 how could I have missed that I guess I always assumed erroneously that they were like rainman. I approached the special ed department and asked to have my oldest tested as well. Well the Psychologist on retainer for the school observed my daughters and went over the questionnaires she then had me read a couple books before our meeting she said they might help me decide if I think these really describe my daughters. I was amazed at how two girls who seemed very different could really have the same condition.

After reading the books I was convinced that after years of searching we might have discovered why my oldest with an almost genius IQ struggled to pass english mostly due to reading, she does not picture what she reads. My second I finally knew what she needed and why she seems fine one minute and looses it the next. They were probably both aspergirls I was in shock. Well we met with the psychologist and she agreed that they most likely are aspies in the 90% probability range. Why does it take 15 and 12 years to get a diagnoses or even be pointed in the right direction? I had my daughters tested multiple times and yet no one ever mentioned they might have a condition. I guess it happens but I had hoped we had come farther in the last 30 years.

A boy with Atypical behaviors

Earlier this year while talking with my sons preschool teacher asking her how he was doing she said "he seems to not hear us have you had that problem she asked"? I told her I have had his hearing checked multiple times and he always came back normal. She then asked if I had noticed he was obsessed with red I said sure he has liked it for at least 3 years since he discovered Cars. She then asked if I had any other concerns so I told her about his lack of interest in potty training (he is almost 5) and that he did not seem to really interact with others just played by them. She then asked if he had been tested for any learning disabilities I told her he had been in an early intervention program but had tested out of it fine almost 2 years earlier at age 3 he had been tested at the school district. I asked her if I should worry she said if she was me she would seriously consider having him tested again at the school district. I said ok I will set the appointment and I did. He was tested at the school district and as we are sitting there he did his typical behaviors ie talking loudly, hanging all over the tester getting in her space, struggling to say his letters and numbers in order and generally being hyper.
The psychologist was observing all this interaction toward the end he brought in the results. There was some question as his atypical behaviors were just borderline according to the tests done so far plus he had regressed in his learning things he had passed at age 3 he had lost at almost age 5. The psychologist asked if I had time for some more in depth questioning I said yes.  After this questioning was done he excused himself for a few and came back with those results my son was even higher in the atypical range I had no idea what this meant. They brought me an paper on autism and told me I should look into having him screened further by a pediatrician. I walked out of there in a daze I had wondered about the autism for my son but after his first screening at age 3 I had dismissed it since they told me he was normal functioning. I asked my pediatrician about it he said well if he tested atypical at school district and after looking over the results and watching him he said he is probably autistic. WOW what do you do? Well they admitted him to special ed preschool to work with him and he got an IEP.  He made good progress in the special ed preschool and in his transition meeting it was determined he could just be in regular kindergarten with pull out services. I hope this works out for him and he continues to progress.

Gifted Students

For this post I wanted to discuss various ways to help students who are gifted but may also have a learning disability. My oldest is gifted mostly in math however she does ok in the other areas except comprehension she does not seem to understand what she is reading. This can cause some problems since she can read on a 9th grade level when she is only a 6th grader. I finally got her to tell me that when she reads she does not picture what the story is about in her mind. They finally tested her and discovered that she does not sequence very well when you give her a list of directions out of order. I found this very frustrating as I have tried to get the schools to test her since she was in 2nd grade. Well at least she is not a high school student so we hopefully can help her with this problem.

When looking for any signs I may have missed that would have told me this was a problem. The only thing I could come up with was she had a severe lack of imagination from a young age. She never liked to play dolls or dress up. She only liked books with pictures and when she got to old for picture books she did not like to read anymore. I think if I had tried to get her to play house more or discussed what was happening during reading time, she might have been better at sequencing. I did discover something a few months ago that might have helped her and kicked myself for not thinking of it sooner. It seems so simple and that is felt stories they use pictures but you have to act out what you are hearing with movable figures so they are really hands on. I thought gosh I could have used paper figures for that matter but they are not as durable. I started using them with my other children and the kids loved them. I also discovered from a teacher at my daughters school that I could have done and am now doing this picture with a sentence game. You have a short phrase that is very descriptive and have the student draw what they think it should look like. This has helped some as now she has to think about what the sentence is saying and we can see what she is really getting out of her reading.
Her math is a different problem all of its own. She can do math like a twenty year old so most math for her age bores her senseless. I have struggled to get the schools to challenge her on a higher level but not had much success.