Aspergirls

Well shortly after my sons testing the special ed teacher for my second daughter approached me she is 12 and asked if I had her behavior tested. I said for what exactly as she had been tested and they told me the same thing they have told me since she was 5 years old SHE IS FINE! Your just worried because she is normal and your oldest is gifted. Sign! I should have been more forceful I knew from a young age she had some problems but hey live and learn.

Well the special ed lady says well she does not make eye contact I said so she has always been that way that is just her. She gave me this look like I should know better which really I should as I do work with special needs kids but they are really profound so a mild case like my daughter is harder to spot. Then she says well when I try to get her to discuss what problems she is having with math she seems to ignore me for a couple minutes then she might respond or she might not. I said well yeah she has always done that she just takes a bit to gather her thoughts. She asked if I would be ok if they tested her for behavior issues I said fine. So she sends me to go get the screenings she wants to try and WOW big surprise she has me pick up ASQ and GARS and a couple others. I had never filled either of these questionnaires out before. As I am filling them out I realize they are for Autism or Atypical behaviors and OMG!

My second daughter had not smiled before like age 5 much and even then usually her expressions do not match the situation. If I could have used one word to describe my daughter 2 it would be grumpy even from a super young age. She had and still does have weird OCD things she at the age of 2 had played with her belly button so much she could pull it off her stomach. She then moved to biting she was always biting her sister and nothing seemed to help stop her. She sucked her clothes till they were misshapen and sucked her hair. She at the age of about 6 became obsessed with hugs she constantly wanted to hug which she never had really wanted before and frequently shoved people away when they wanted one. It reached the point where I had to limit her to 2 hugs per person per day and only if she asked for one, if someone else instigated it that did not count. Then she moved to chewing her fingernails which was ok till about 11 years old when she chewed the whole nail off down to the cuticle it was bad surprised it did not bleed.

I realized as I filled these out that there was a high probability that I now had another child on the spectrum. I also realized my oldest daughter fit alot of the asperger signs I was shocked she is 15 how could I have missed that I guess I always assumed erroneously that they were like rainman. I approached the special ed department and asked to have my oldest tested as well. Well the Psychologist on retainer for the school observed my daughters and went over the questionnaires she then had me read a couple books before our meeting she said they might help me decide if I think these really describe my daughters. I was amazed at how two girls who seemed very different could really have the same condition.

After reading the books I was convinced that after years of searching we might have discovered why my oldest with an almost genius IQ struggled to pass english mostly due to reading, she does not picture what she reads. My second I finally knew what she needed and why she seems fine one minute and looses it the next. They were probably both aspergirls I was in shock. Well we met with the psychologist and she agreed that they most likely are aspies in the 90% probability range. Why does it take 15 and 12 years to get a diagnoses or even be pointed in the right direction? I had my daughters tested multiple times and yet no one ever mentioned they might have a condition. I guess it happens but I had hoped we had come farther in the last 30 years.