Another month gone

Oct 10th

I am still here the after effects of grief are actually stronger in the older children then the younger ones. I got my photos from NILMDTS today and they are lovely Lens Blossom Photography did an awesome job. I had a hard time wanting to sit down and look at them but made myself it was bitter sweet. I am glad I did they are something I am glad I will always have as you tend to forget some of the details. I have been sick 4 times in the 8 weeks since I delivered but seem to be on the mend. I am reminded at different times in my life that God is mindful of us especially in the way people are brought into our lives. We will be ok will life be a challenge? yes will we always grieve? yes but it will lessen then hit like a train and lessen again. I have a new favorite song it is Glorious by David Archuleta it has deep meaning for me at the moment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytW_rgr0RM

The hardest hit from this experience is my oldest she struggles with anxiety and depression already and has not rebounded very well. I wish I could figure out how to help her life is already difficult for a 16 year old this experience has not helped. I wish I knew what to say and do to help her work through and learn the special of this and not just the loss.