As I prepare to give birth

You know Even after you have decided something it does not make it any easier. It is hard to contemplate that in just 2-3 days I will give birth to this angel. I know if I can not talk myself into this and work toward being comfortable my labor might be an not great thing. Still it is a struggle to let go of something that means so much and you have carried for 9 months. With my other children you expect them to live and grow up although there are no guarantees.
With an angel baby you know they wont have long on this earth if they even make it through labor. Although I do find you wonder some of the same things but with more sadness. What would she look like at various ages? I wonder what her favorite thing about nature would have been? What her favorite color will be? What if her brain had been normal would she have done with her life? Which of her siblings would she be closest to? I know these are all trivial things as really she is doing what is most important. I know she is doing and will continue doing great things on the other side. Still I will always wonder.....

I know that our religion believes we will get to raise Angels like Tianna later but I really dont see a need for this as she will already be beyond the need for that. I guess its possible they need a fully grown adult body for some reason but would imagine it could just be changed in the twinkle of an eye. Still I guess this is just another of those things I wont really understand till I get there.
I am working daily to prepare myself mentally, emotionally and physically to give birth I hope I can get there in time for my induction on Tuesday Evening. It is a challenge to get yourself ready let alone have enough left over to do final prep for your kids and husband.