a many day update

30 July
Well inducing sucks! Been here since 4 pm yesterday had cytotec got me to a 2 had foli catheter got me to almost 3 have epidural miserable now on pit taking forever starting to think should have csection.

Broke water about 1.5 hours ago then pit only at 4.5 have not dilated this slow since first child. So frustrated!

Tianna is here she is stable they did vent her she has big eyes and and a single nostril that does not appear to work.

I tried to leave this world today hemorraged lost most of my blood and plasma. Thank god for Dr Scott Peterson and the uvrmc staff. Along with my doula Megan Keller and her assistant Angie. I am very tired now thank you for all your prayers I feel they made a strong difference in mine and Tiannas outcome. She is still stable and a more normal color.

31 July

We(Aaron and I ) got to hold our precious Tianna a few moments ago we are so grateful for any time we get with this great big special spirit. Her little heart is not cramping enough so they started some med for that. She does have diabetes insiphadous but they are regulating that. She is still vented they want to keep her stable till we are ready to let her go.

1 Aug 

We had a family photo session with our Tianna today it was good. Tianna held up pretty well we are so grateful for the nicu team at uvrmc helping us acheive this with a vent. It was a great blessing. We have after much heart breaking decision making decided to un vent Tianna on Monday and let her return to heavenly father in her own time. She really is just waiting on us she has very minimal brain function. She does not see or hear she is still precious and beautiful. We don't believe she will live but a few moments off the vent and are exceptionally grateful for the time we have had.

 

2 Aug

Well sitting her wit my adorable daughter they took her off the heart contracting meds yesterday she seems to be doing ok without it but her heart rate is sitting at a consistent low from 101-109. She opened her eyes earlier and they are lovely. This picture is from when she was getting her hands and feet cast I get the feeling she did not like it much.

she loves to keep her head the other way so we need to keep turning her to the left. She opened her eyes really wide for me today. She also loves her hands in and by her mouth just like in all her ultra sound pictures 

Some special daddy time she even has been opened her eyes

3 Aug

Well we sure tried to cram a lifetime of memories into a day and a total 5 days. I am not ready for the day tomorrow but we will try to get the best experience we can. My princess had lots of visitors it was a busy day.

4 Aug

Well getting ready to remove vent what a trying time this has been in so many ways. At the same time it has been wonderful such a precious angel. It is difficult to let go we know she has a greater mission then just being with us. We have appreciated everyone's prayers and kind thoughts.

Tianna has gone home she went home to heaven at 6:15 pm after taking vent out about 3:40 pm. She passed at 4:03 pm. Then decided she wanted to let us know she really wanted to stay so at 4:30 pm she started to mouth breathe with heart rate 120 but very gaspy she did this for about 40 minutes then she started to quit breathing 5:15pm. She is such a powerful soul we love her and this is such a powerful experience we have been so blessed.

5 Aug

I have been kinda distressed today feeling like something is missing like I should be doing something. We went to the funeral home today to make final arrangements it was tough. We got to hold our baby again hard to believe she is gone. Such an angel I did not post yesterday but the second time she left it was to my oldest and I singing to her. I think we all needed that experience it was very healing. The following picture was taken shortly after she started to mouth breath we were so blessed to get very alive pictures of our baby she did have jaundice if you wonder about her coloring.