The second Week after Loss

August 17

Eleanor Loveridge Tianna's Cousin is here born this morning she is 20 inches long and 8 lbs 15.9 oz pretty good size for a first baby and she looks like Jarom and has long hair 

August 19

well Tianna has been gone 2 weeks as of yesterday at 6:15 pm what a hard two weeks for me. I miss her like crazy and want to hold her. I have decided in the last couple days that it works for me to give thoughts to her at least first thing in the morning so I play her song and sing it and cry if I want while I pump. I figure I spend all day thinking about and looking after my other children I can spare a bit of time to think about the one that is gone.
I have determined there is a big difference in the sexes in how we grieve and from person to person. I am still a mess my husband seems to have let go and moved on. Of course he is really busy with school starting so maybe he just hides it better which is what I am more inclined to believe.
I still am trying to recover from blood loss and delivery. I read in someones blog who lost 2000 ml and had a transfusion the hospital told her it could take 6 weeks to feel normal. So I have decided to quit feeling guilty that I have not bounced back. This other lady could not even hardly walk without her husband for the first week so I am doing better there I just need to give myself more time.