An IEP

Had my oldest (16) iep today she is very smart and gifted. They did not really find a specific learning disability which is what she has always qualified for under english but she has learned how to adapt to this so it came out high this time for the first time since 6th grade she matches her IQ and other learning with ability. This was great I was glad we had pushed the Asperger testing last year as that is now what they qualified her for( well ASD) since her grades are not showing the same results as the tests. Her anxiety and depression has kicked into high gear from her aspergers and her disability that she normally has is still there a bit. Her written expression was the only thing on age level. The rest are clear into 21 years plus but most into her 30's. I wish I could help her get past her issues and tap that potential but alas you cant push to much or they stress. However she gets more even every year so maybe one day she will be able to tap into all that brain power and use it to the max :)
I guess the point of this blurb is I am glad she is getting better on the test but I currently feel guilty that I had not a clue that she had aspergers. I wonder if I had pushed and got her help earlier if we could have limited the impact it is having on her schooling and emotional life.
 Am I the only one who feels this way? I knew she was gifted from the age of like 3 but also knew at about 2nd grade that something was not clicking for her. I guess its always the hardest with the oldest they tend to be the guinea pig so to speak.